...Not Me. 😂
My ass isn't even that big.
Or is it? 🤔
Some time ago, I went to visit a friend.
As I came out of the station, I noticed this man looking at me.
I didn't make much eye contact because I already knew he was onto me.
You know, the usual...
Guy sees girl.
Guy approaches girl.
Guy asks for her number.
Girl says no. 😂
Or so I thought.
About two minutes into my walk,
I noticed this man was following me.
Not the walking in the same direction kind, but actually following me.
So I stopped.
Turned around and made deliberate eye contact, letting him know I was aware of his presence.
He immediately slowed down and looked away, pretending he wasn't following me.
Okay cool. No wàhálà. 😂
I carried on.
Walk... walk... walk...
About five minutes later, I stopped again.
Turned around.
And looked straight at him.
GOTCHA! 😂
Tell me why this man suddenly stopped and started looking around, turning his head left, right and centre like he hadn't already been caught!
At this point, it was becoming a game of cat and mouse.
Now, before anyone panics...
It was early afternoon, there were people around and I didn't feel threatened.
Just increasingly baffled by this man's nonsense...
Because every time I turned around and caught him following me, I noticed he wasn't looking ahead.
Or even at me.
You know, like a normal person walking down the street would. Or someone following you, so they don't lose sight of you.
This man was always staring directly at my ass! 😭🤣
Not occasionally glancing.
No.
His eyes were firmly fixed on the booty.
The third time I stopped,
he was so immersed in his sightseeing that he nearly walked straight into my ass!
That's how close he had got before finally looking up and realising I had stopped again.
I gave him a strong frown.
Never said a word.
I thought, surely, having caught him red-handed several times, he would take the hint and give up.
But alas...
Lord of booty, this man did NOT give up! 🤣
He carried on following me!
Now, we had been walking for about 15 minutes and I was roughly a minute away from my friend's house.
That's when I thought...
Nah.
We need to cut this shit out, right now.
Otherwise, this man was going to follow my ass straight into the house until I slammed the door in his face. 😂
Suddenly, I stopped.
And this time, he was just inches behind me.
Head down.
Eyes on the booty. 🍑
So completely engrossed in my backside that it took him a few seconds to realise I had stopped walking.
And when he finally looked up?
There he was, again.
Doing that ridiculous looking-around routine!
Sir, PLEASE! 😭🤣
By this point, I was over it.
The comedy had worn off.
I was annoyed.
I had had enough.
So I turned around and shouted:
"Are you just going to keep following me?! Are you going to say something or just keep following me? What's wrong with you? Stop following me!"
And just like that.
Without uttering a single word...
He turned around.
This man started walking all the way back towards the station.
THE STATION! 😭
That's a 15-minute walk.
Imagine, this man wasn't even going my way in the first place!
What a bizarre situation. 😂
I understand a man finding a woman attractive, approaching her and perhaps trying to strike up a conversation.
But this man wasn't following me.
No!
He was simply following the big booty. 🍑
Every time I stopped, his nose was practically up my ass! 🤣
I could have kidnapped him with my ass.
Just like that. 🤷♀️
I wonder if he was going somewhere important and got there late.
Imagine trying to explain that one...
Guys, don't be this guy.
You might not be so lucky... 🤣